Dear Target:
I will be shopping in your store on Black Friday from 2 PM to approximately 4 PM. Thank you for limiting store occupancy during this period to 50 occupants or less. While I normally prefer far fewer people sharing my shopping experience, I am aware that you have a business to run. I am willing to compromise. I will, however, require a dedicated register and register attendant at all times. Also, if your people could do a quick clean-up of all the aisles before I arrive, I would be most appreciative. This will most likely require closing an hour before my scheduled arrival, but I think you'll find that the time spent organizing will much enhance my shopping experience. Don't forget the bathrooms! Finally, I will require an additional 20% discount off your already low prices as your prices are not that low. It goes without saying, I assume, that you'll have an able-bodied, background-checked, attendant to valet my Hyundai.
Thank you for your attention to these matters. I look forward to shopping with you this Black Friday.
Warm regards,
Chicken
Chicken
