Thursday, September 18, 2014

Big Spirit

Sometimes  I experience the sensation  of expansiveness.  It happens most often just as I am waking up or drifting off.  The best thing about this sensation is its optimism.  This sensation  tells me everything is as it should be.  It's all good.

I can describe it is as a pot boiling over.  I'm the pot and my spirit is the liquid inside the pot that expands until it can't be contained and starts to run over the edge.  When your kitchen pots are boiling over it's a sign that you're doing something wrong.  When your spirit wants to expand beyond the container of your body, it's a sign you are doing everything right.  Just let it go.

I'm  not sure if the sense of expansiveness is just my  spirit letting loose with its bad self,  or whether it is my portion of spirit joining with the mother spirit.  Whenever it happens I get a glimpse of the person I can be, that I truly am, without the shackles of my ego, fears, values and social  mores.  The real me is playful, fearless, loving and curious. The real me really loves you.  Even if you are being a bit of an asshole, I love you.  The real me can see the real you inside of there.  The real me knows the real you is being contained in this moment by all of your ego, fears, values and social mores.  The real me wants to hug you or wink  at you or tease you or give you whatever you need right now to let you know that everything is as it should be.  You are all good.  The real me trusts that when the situation is reversed, you will also love me.  Imagine if the real me and the real you busted out at the same time?  How great would that be?

The real me would like to invite the real you out to play.

Chicken  out

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

And Then Chicken's Mother Wrote a Letter

Dear Blogger:

I am writing to discuss a matter of great concern.

My Chicken is being bullied by someone in your organization and something needs to be done about it.  Bullying is not to be tolerated.  Ask Michelle Obama.  Or any of the 87 Real Housewives.

I am disappointed in you, Blogger.  Has this behavior been happening under your nose and you've chosen to ignore it?  Or am I giving you too much credit?  Perhaps you are simply so negligent in  your duties that you failed to notice?  Either scenario is deplorable.  If it were up to me, I would have removed Chicken from this hostile environment after the very first episode, but she's a fighter, my Chicken is, and she refused to give up her turf.

"It's just photos, Mom", she said. "I can always replace them."  Well, it wasn't "just" photos, Blogger, it was every photo she's ever posted in the last six years.  Gone overnight.  If only she'd started on Word Press, like we encouraged her to do.  But no, she found your site more user friendly.  Ha. That's a laugh, isn't it?  I watched her struggle to locate and replace each photo.

And then you took them again.  Then post delays started happening.  Links suddenly broke and people were blocked.  Good people.

And still, my Chicken put a smile on her face and kept going.  "Maybe I messed something up, Ma, it's no big deal.", she said.

But now it's gone too far, Blogger.  I can no longer maintain my silence.  At 7:52 PM this evening,  my poor Chicken logged onto her page and discovered the theft of her entire blog roll.  Even the gadget that supported her blog roll has disappeared. You've taken away her friends.  Who does such a thing?

You, Blogger, will address this issue immediately.  Future acts of bullying will be met with legal action.  And I'm writing a letter to Andy Cohen.  You heard me.   Prepare for the anti-bullying fury of 87 botoxed housewives.  I've heard those Australian ones are particularly agressive.  But that's what you get.  Nobody messes with my Chicken.


Sincerely,

Chicken's mother

Monday, September 8, 2014

I am your sales representative...

Dear Colleague,

I am your sales representative and as such I represent our company's brand, services and employees in the public realm.  Every day, I meet with potential customers.  I  tell them about our company.  I convince them that if they have a need for a service we provide, that we (you and I), are better equipped than our competitors to deliver that service.

When I'm successful at my job, we all win. If I am not successful, we both lose our jobs.  Wait, you might be thinking, why should I lose my job because you suck?  Well, if we don't have any customers, we don't really have an immediate need for your services, do we?  Have you worked through that equation?  "X (me) + Y (customers) = Z (our jobs).

Let's recap, shall we?  I am regularly in public making first impressions on your behalf.   We both need those impressions to be positive.  Our continued employment depends upon it.  Therefore, it would seem to behoove you to alert me to anything off putting regarding my appearance.  Green things hanging out of my nose, for instance, or a skirt stuck in the waistband of my underwear, would be examples of things I need brought to my attention.

Do not tell me, dear co-worker, that you did not see the hunk of spinach in my teeth today.   I know you saw it.  How could you not have?  We stood face-to-face discussing your awesome social media skills for at least five minutes.  "I rule at twitter and by the way you  have something in your teeth", was all you needed to say. Were you waiting for me to leave so you could tweet about it?  #gross #shouldisaysomething? Yes, you fucking should. Must we now crowd source the merest courtesy?

Your lack of common sense is not going to keep us paid and laid.  I don't care how many twits follow you.

Thank you for your future cooperation.

Your sales representative