Wednesday, August 27, 2014

I feel bad about my eyebrows...

Nora Ephron wrote a best-selling book about her neck. My insecurities lie elsewhere.  Let me tell you about my eyebrows.  The modern face is all about the eyebrows, isn't it?  Everywhere I turn, people are talking about a strong brow and how the brows frame the face.  Waxing and threading salons have popped up everywhere.  Even men get their eyebrows groomed these days.  Can I just interject one tiny observation?

It's hair, People.  It's hair on your face, over your eyes, like two wriggly caterpillars.  Must we give them so much distinction?

You think I'm jealous?  That I covet a strong, face-framing brow?  Yes, I admit it, I feel bad about my eyebrows.  For one thing, I barely have any.  There's definitely no face-framing going on.  The sardonic arching of the brow is a non-verbal expression I'll never display.   A display, I might add, that captures the inner workings of my psyche perfectly.  If I could raise my eyebrow sardonically,  I would be 62% more successful by my own estimations that I just made up.  Or less.  I'm not really sure how that might turn out.  I can see where raising a sardonic eyebrow might sometimes land one in hot water with one's boss, colleagues and/or husband.  Still, I am confident I would enjoy expressing myself with just the arch of a glossy, groomed eyebrow.

I stare at my brows in the mirror and I wonder....what the hell am I supposed to do with these things?  I've tried brow powder and pencils, I've bought kits and practiced, I've watched you tube videos, and still I seem to wind up with nothing more than thin wayward hairs waving against a background of muddy brown shadow.  Mocking me.

I used to have normal eyebrows  but I shaved them off.

It was the seventies.   Thin brows were de rigueur.  Cheryl Tiegs smiled down from my brother's wall with her naturally thin brows and tiny bikini, daring me to do something about the twin beards obscuring my vision.  First, I tried plucking them.   Turns out that ripping hair from your head hurts rather a lot, so I found an easier way.  I shaved them into shape.  Truth be told, I thought I might be a genius when I thought of that idea.  I've always heard that if you shave hair, it grows back  thicker and darker, which would have set me up beautifully for the thick untamed brow of the eighties.  Not so in my case.  My eyebrow hair hopped on the cosmic  highway and must have hitchhiked to somewhere it felt more welcome.  Possibly Brooke Shield's house.  The end of my sad story is that eventually most of my brows disappeared and I have no earthly idea of what to do with the remains.

Someone needs to bring the seventies back.  Who's in?

Chicken out

Nice brows, Cheryl, very nice




Tuesday, August 26, 2014

What's your favorite children's book?

I recently came across a short piece (InStyle September 2014) that queried celebrities about their favorite childhood books.  I remember four, in particular, that I loved.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks
The Little Princess
Robinson Crusoe
My  Side of the Mountain

In "Bedknobs and Broomsticks", kids used their magic bedknob to fly their bed through the night to distant lands.  I also wanted to fly, magically and safely, of course, to distant lands.  I was bitterly conscious of my lack of bed knobs.  Why oh why was I stuck with a dumb bunk bed with no removable bedknobs instead of an antique brass bed?  For awhile I concentrated nightly on an old glass door knob I found.  I thought if I believed enough, it might take me places.  A knob is a knob, after all.

The "Little Princess" was the perfect prepubescent comeback novel.   She's on top, then she's living.in an attic room, slaving away, and then, because of her noble character, she's back on top again. Later on in life, I liked Flowers in the Attic, so maybe I just have a thing about being shut away in an attic.

"Robinson Crusoe" played into all of my adolescent fantasies; being shipwrecked on an island, eventually making friends with an Indian, and living off the land and off the grid.  I still fantasize about living on an island but less in the style of Robinson Crusoe and more in the style of Richard Branson.

In  "My Side of the Mountain", a young man lives in a tree trunk all by himself in the wilderness.  I can't remember why he was living there.  He had to be brave and learn how to keep himself fed through the long, lonely winter. I admired him and was a little envious of his solitude.  I must have been sharing a room with my little sister when I read that book.

Putting on my amateur psychologist hat, I would say that, at least as a kid, I  had a thirst for adventure and solitude.  These days, I prefer being caught up on my laundry and a nice nature walk to anything adventurous, but I do still crave solitude every now and then.  When that happens,  I go sit in the attic.

I'm just kidding.  I don't do that.  There are spiders up there.

What books did you love?

Chicken out


Monday, August 25, 2014

Bucket List

On  his last day as a first grader, littleb wrote a bucket list of things he wanted to do over the summer.  This is his list:

1.  Go into a pool
2.  Go to Block Island
3.  A Celebration
4.  Have a vacation
5   Buy flowers
6.  Go out with my family
7.  Go to Mystic  Aquarium
8.  Go Fishing
9.  Go to Camp Ok-wa-nesset
10.  Go Kayaking

Today he meets his second grade teacher and tomorrow is the first day of school.  Summer never lingers (unfortunately) but this summer has flown by so fast, I find myself a little bereft.  Looking back at littleb's list and recalling the moments when each mission on his list was accomplished makes me smile and helps bring the summer more into focus.   It may have gone by quickly, but we sure did enjoy it.  What did you do on your summer vacation?

Chicken out

Hiking the Megunticook Trail in Camden