Friday, October 4, 2013

Fashion is a Two-Faced Bitch: What My Accessories Say About Me

As I walked past my bedroom, I heard  voices.  I stepped into the room and found it empty, yet the voices persisted. They seemed to be coming from  the closet.

It was just my accessories; talking about me again.

Snakeskin  belt:  Oy, I feel like a bungee cord must feel at the end of a hard day.  If that woman keeps inhaling cookies,  I swear I'm just going to come flying apart one of these days. Guess what she had for lunch today?

Scarf, Summer bag, Baseball hat:  What?

Snakeskin belt:  Chipotle.  The bitch had Chipotle, and not even the burrito bowl, no.  She had the whole burrito with the carnitas, the cheese, sour cream...everything.  And she didn't hold back on the guacamole and chips,  either!

Scarf:  (laughs) Yeah,  she claims guacamole is a "health" food.  I heard her tell someone that. I wanted to scream,  "Avocados, Moron! Avocados are a health food. A cup of guacamole  stuffed into your face on fried tortilla chips, not so much!."

Baseball hat:  (snickers) What, no beer?  Was she sick?

Snakeskin belt:  She was working. I was spared the beer.

Baseball hat:  Aw, man, you're lucky.  Last time she wore me there was a lot of beer, and by a lot, I mean a bloody ocean of beer.  She left me hanging on the stall door hook in the restroom at Chili's.  Ewww.  I need a shower just thinking about it.  Then, when she finally comes back again, she sees me hanging there, and says, "Oh!  There you are."  Like I grew legs and walked off.

Necklace: (chiming in from the jewelry box)  So what did she have for dessert?

Snakeskin belt: What do you think?

Necklace:  Dairy Queen?  Peanut Buster Parfait?

Snakeskin belt: You got it, 'cause what's a little sugar rush when you've already consumed 5,000 carbohydrates anyway, am I right?

Scarf:  And plus, peanuts are GOOD for you, bwah ha ha ha...

Necklace:  Did she dribble it down the front of her shirt?

Snakeskin belt:  Of course!  Why should today be different from any other day?

Baseball hat:  (laughing) Were any of you guys there that time she went to Fenway?  Oh. My. God.  It was epic.  All her favorite things-hot dogs, peanuts, beer, fries and testosterone.  And still, it might have been okay, if it hadn't been for that fly ball.

Summer purse:  Oh my God,  I remember that!  She looks up, see's the ball coming right at her, stands up to catch it, gets a little dizzy, trips over me.....

Summer purse and Baseball hat:  (in unison) AND FALLS INTO THE NEXT ROW!  BEER EVERYWHERE!

(Insert screaming laughter here)

Scarf: Classic Chicken!  What a klutz.

I yanked open the door and glared into the darkness.

Complete silence.

They don't fool me.

Chicken out

Accessories for sale.  Dirt Cheap.  

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Chicken Dilemma. What Would You Do?

I know the government is in the middle of a crisis, but can we talk about me?  I need your advice.

Three young men in my town were recently arrested for breaking into cars and vandalizing public property. All are legal adults and were booked on felony charges

My dilemma is that I know one of the three and am trying to decide the best way to help him. I'll call him "J" to protect his privacy.   He grew up in the neighborhood, was a good friend  to my eldest son, and spent a lot of Saturday nights sleeping over at our house.  

I won't bore you with every detail of his background, but suffice it to say that the one person who loved and nurtured him got very sick and died.  Her illness and subsequent death sent his life into a tail spin.  He moved away for a time, but came back once he turned 18.  His situation has been precarious.  He has little support, emotionally or financially, and is, most likely,  suffering from depression.  It's hard to tell.  A lot of  his emotions are trapped on the inside and his affect is flatter than a six-month-old glass of coke.

After a rough start, he seemed to be on the right track, earning a GED in record time, participating in a work program, and eventually transitioning into a part-time job. His goals were to get his license, save some money, and join the military.  He was living with another family that I do not know, but he seemed grateful to have a place to stay.  He came over several times a week, for awhile, and I would feed him, encourage him and try to get him to talk.  When I remember the meme of the kitten hanging on to a ledge by the nails, with the caption, "Hang In There, Baby",  I think of J.

I asked my son,  after the neighborhood gossip made it around to our house, what he thought J was thinking to put himself in that situation. My son's response,  effectively, was that he would never put himself in a position to fall out of favor within a peer group. That makes sense,  I guess, when you consider what it means to be alone. Most of us prefer the pack.  It's the way we are made.

I texted and called J when I found out about his situation.  I wasn't sure what I could do, but I did want to make myself available to him.  When he didn't respond,  I did a search online, which confirmed that he was still being held at the intake center. 

I could probably scrape together enough bail money to get him out of jail.  I'm aware that it is money I would most likely never see again, and I could live with that.  My dilemma is that helping with his release would only solve his most immediate problem.  If released, he will need a place to live, a job, and emotional support, as well as practical support.  My husband is not willing to bring him into our home and I respect that.  I also feel I do not have the tools, time or resources necessary to help him find  his footing, and there does not seem to be anyone else in his life who is willing to take on that role.  Without some hefty support from somewhere, he will most likely end up back in prison, possibly worse off for my assistance.

If I bail him out, am I hurting more than I'm helping?  Are there services and people within the system who can help him more than I can outside of the system.  Is the system set up to rehabilitate young adults who are not hardened criminals, or does it just process every criminal the same way?

What would you do?  Is there anyone out there who has experience  with these sorts of cases and can speak to what is likely to happen to him next or how I can best support him?  I am not comfortable with the notion of no action, but I'd like to proceed cautiously.

I am a Chicken, after all.  Thank you for reading.  I will be resuming my usual nonsense after this short reality break.

Chicken out