Santa Maybe....

Santa maybe, get BigB to trim the tree
for me
Maybe even hang some lights, Santa Baby
Could you call him sometime maybe tonight?

Santa Maybe, could we talk about the little one too
It's true
He's bouncing off the walls around  here, Santa Maybe
Could we dose him with the whiskey this once?

Think of all the dishes I've rinsed
Think of all the Bravo television  I've missed
Next year I might be just as good
If you'll send me a personal chef
.
Santa really, there's one thing that you maybe could do
Could you
Send me thirteen elves on loan?  I will
Send them back to you next year

Santa Maybe, send Martha Stewart to my house
To bake
200 sugar cookies, no wait, that's scary
Just send them down the chimney instead

Santa would you, wrap these presents for me
and then
Send them next day fed ex for free I will
Forever be your biggest fan

You could even clean my garage if you like
Maybe hold a garage sale while I read this book
I really do believe in you
I know you can get rid of all this junk

Santa Maybe, just one more little thing
The ring
The one around my bathtub is gross could you
Send Magic Mike to clean it tonight

I know this isn't Magic Mike but "Matthew McConaughey dressed as a cowboy stripper"
didn't really flow well