Thursday, November 26, 2009

I have a Secret..

World.  Hi.

1.)  Happy Thanksgiving

2.) Writing a blog is a little harder than I expected....you need to censor yourself, particularly if you are the type that writes in a stream of consciousness sort of way....you have to walk away, come back, read again, and then erase all the stuff you shouldn't have written in the first place that, frankly, you weren't even really aware you wrote in the first place.  (hah-I will never tell!  Mostly because by tomorrow I will not remember) 

For instance, no talk about work.  A whole lotta bad can come from that.  No talking about family except in the most general way because....Stalkers. Scary. This is G.G.'s influence on me.

3.)  So how are you all doing?  Stuffed?  Funny word within the context, isn't it?

Tonight as we drove home from the TG celebrations I was thinking about "The Secret".  I know, I know...but this Secret stuff has been very pervasive in our culture.  I mean, wouldn't it be wonderful if positive thoughts got you where you wanted to go? I do think they encourage you to do the work you need to do to get there, so I am somewhat of a believer in that respect.  Not to go all woo hoo on you or anything.  But I was thinking a few negative thoughts and that is where the scary Secret shit begins.  Because according to "The Secret" negative thoughts are just as powerful as positive thoughts.  So we are driving along and I am thinking my slightly negative thoughts and then I think to myself:  "Self...do not think these bad things because you might make them come true."  And then, because SELF has to overthink every little thing, SELF says, "Well what IF your thoughts are all intuitive.  What IF your negative thoughts and positive thoughts are all just your intuitive, neglected, sixth sense abilities arising from the sitcom muddled, overworked, stressed out brain that your consciousness calls home to kick you in the butt and say "WAKE UP.  This is what is happening so you better come up with a mighty good plan or you better just roll along with your bad self", depending on the message.  Maybe it is all about the Non-Secret. All about what you have known all along...

Whoa, that was so not where I thought I was going....

Okay, so blogging. Some people have expressed an interest in the idea of blogging and it is new to them, too.  To those people....there are some things I didn't tell you last week.  I didn't want to scare you away. Just kidding.  Didn't want to scare me away.

So let us review:

1. Set up your blog.  This is easy-just google "Start a blog"
2. Get all your friends to read it.  Could be easy or hard. That depends, I guess, on your past history.  If you are kind and support worthy causes, I am guessing you will have no problem.   If you pick your nose at the dinner table and don't respect peoples' personal space, you may want to google "socialization skills" rather than how to start a blog.
3. Get other blogs to link to your blog so that the Google robots will come and deem you worthy. 

(by the way, I had a dream about the robots the other night.  They were really not like robots.  They were more like....lice.  Gross, I know.  But these little mechanical looking bugs were climbing all OVER my blog and I was saying to them, "please like it please like it please like it".  Never thought I'd be so dependent on lice)

Okay, so number three, get other blogs to link...but since that is difficult (especially if you are trying to link to Big Blogger Guy's site who is much too successful and busy to link to your site but is not too busy to offer expert advice as to how you can be a successful blogger...like him) there are sites that you can go onto and log your blog.  Google is one, Blogorama is another.  If you google it, you will find a whole list.  It is labor intensive but it helps to be registered on as many sites as possible.

So number 4.) Log your blog.

Number 5 is using key words.  I am still a little unclear on this, but I think the gist is that if you use words that are commonly in the news or searched for, then you increase the chance that your blog will be picked up.  So I am thinking that means that if I type, oh, for instance, "Aha Moment"....that I will either show up on someone's search or Oprah's lawyers will be calling me.  So type newsworthy words. This probably explains Perez Hilton.

Got it? We're good?  Good.  I need Pie. 

Hope the only secret in your world is a good one.  But if it is not....trust your first instinct.

By the way, on You Tube tonight I found Melissa Etheridge's incredible rendition of "Take It".  If you need some inspiration, her, bald, singing a song that sets a "F*ck You "Secret" and all bad Mates" tone might be just the sort of "amen sister" moment you are looking for.

Take care.

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