Wednesday, September 8, 2010

What Oreos and Danny DeVito Have in Common....

After dinner last night, littleb was engaging in one of his favorite activities: Negotiating dessert with his father.

littleb: I want Oreos, I want Oreos.  I want THREE Oreos, 'cause I'm THREE

BigB: You can have an apple

littleb: I don’t like apples. I want three Oreos

BigB: No Oreos. They are not good for you.

littleB: Pleaaaase give me Oreos

BigB: How about a D’animals yogurt drink first?

littleb: Okaaayyyyy.

BigB: (Gets him the D’animals yogurt drink. He is smug because he’s convinced him to eat one more healthy thing. He’s won the nutrition battle for another day)

littleb: (drinks it)

littleb: I’m done with my d’animals. Can I have Oreos now?

BigB: Okay (and gets him Oreos).

This, I thought to myself, is a teachable moment.

I took the container of d’animals out of the fridge, and the packet of Oreos. I showed BigB the nutrition labels on both. Three oreos have the same amount of sugar as 4 oz of d’animals-14 grams. Essentially, I told him, littleb has just conned you out of twice as much sugar as he originally wanted. You should have just given him the Oreos, Dude.

BigB, who doesn’t really pay attention to nutritional labels, is not to blame. He just wants littleb to eat less sugar. He thinks the yogurt drinks, and the cereal bars, and the fiber bars, etc. are all healthy. They claim to be healthy.

He doesn't realize that those tricky food items are just sitting around waiting for a sucker like BigB to come along and see their slick, colorful labels announcing, “Low Fat”, “No Transfat”, “Calcium added” or, my personal favorite, “Made With Whole Wheat”.

That is why I love Oreos.

Oreos don’t try to be anything but what they are-Little, round wafers of yumminess stuffed with a sweet cream center. They are classic, they are sweet, they are a little bit naughty and they will make you smile. Just like Danny DeVito.

You know, if you wanted to dunk Danny DeVito in a glass of milk, I don't think he would object.

Chicken out


  1. I can totally fit him in my mouth. And an entire box of oreos. Game on.

  2. Elly Lou? Ew. Just sayin'. But thanks for the most disturbingly hilarious visual I've had all day.
    Poor BigB. Just another hapless victim of the one/two punch combo of ruthless marketing tactics and a three year old. He never stood a chance.

  3. bwah hah. little and round stuffed with a sweet cream center. yummy. and that accent...

  4. As you well know - you had me at Oreos.

    Personally I think wayyyyyyy too much is made out of the nutrition needs of kids. I'd love to live on oreo's and sugar.

  5. Elly Lou-I do suggest dunking him in milk before trying to fit him in your mouth. Hopefully, he won't lose his crunch.

    Anonymous: It was a very funny visual. I pictured her playing the ukelele at the same time.

    Lucky-doesn't he look like an Oreo in his tuxedo?

    QIMP-we definitely know how to push each others buttons, don't we:-) And I agree, but a nation full a fat kids says we're wrong:-) Maybe you do it differently down under, though?

  6. BAH HA HA. So true on the labels, by the way. When I quit eating sugar for five minutes, I really became aware of the magic that is false advertising...

  7. Good post chicken.


  8. My little sister grew up on cold cereal. She turned out just fine. She's a little short. But fine. You are so right about Danny DeVito. And Oreo's.

    xo -E

  9. SS-you were able to quit for five whole minutes? Wow-slow clap!

    Thanks CB!

    E.-my little brother wouldn't eat anything but lucky charms and peanut butter & fluff. Come to think of it he is a little short, too. hmmm.

  10. I have just two words.
    SCREW MILK what a terrible way to ruin a an otherwise most out standing food group. YUP Food group. That's how I roll.

  11. Well, when you say it like that, Anonymous, that's the way we all roll. I love your enthusiasm!

  12. Ummm...nope. I'll have to pass on that offer. Can't imagine Danny dipped in milk. I might like him a bit more if he offered me a bag of double stuffed Oreos though. Is it wrong that I can be bribed for a bag?

  13. YES! I've never thought of it this way. Brilliant! And remember him as the Penguin? (Ok, perhaps as a fan you really wish you could ignore the Penguin... sorry m'lady...)

  14. Sandra-I can be bribed for many, many things. And much cheaper than you. So to answer your question, No. Emphatically.

    AOA-thanks you:-) I did not see Batman but I often play Batman in the privacy of my own home. But I am so visually oriented, that there is a very good chance I never would have made the connection between DD's voice and the Penguin, so I would have been saved the anguish!

  15. Wanted to pop over and say thanks for the article on public speaking....I especially liked the part about "Damn the Crickets"!

    By the way I feel the same about oreos. I don't believe in substitutes. Its kinda like whipped topping instead of frosting.....Nah, hand me the crisco and powdered sugar!


  16. Amen, Bry, Amen. How did it go?

  17. Oh Chicken. I am so glad to be back. And your posts are always such a treasure waiting to be opened. I will never look at an Oreo again without thinking of Danny Devito because this piece of brilliance is so true.

    And yeah, I love all the hoodwinked folks who believe the packaging. Here's my motto, If God made it, then it is healthy. God did not make breakfast bars and the last time I checked he wasn't claiming yogurt. Heck, no one wants to claim yogurt.

    So glad to be back here with you, my fine funny friend.

  18. So glad you are back!!!


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