Hi World,
How are things? How is your family?
Me? I'm good, thanks.
The other day, Teenager-Who-Lives-In-The-Basement and I were grocery shopping.
Naturally, we picked the longest checkout line because that is just what we do. It is a family tradition. A magazine caught TWLITB's eye.
"Mom", he said, "How old is Jennifer Aniston?"
"Well", I said, "As it so happens, she is the same age as me."
"What?"
"Yeah, she's my age."
"But Mom", said TWLITB, "How come she is so hot?"
"Dunno"
"She's really...like....hot....like in movies and everything...in bikinis...she's your age???"
"Yeah, she is", I agree.
"But...how?"
"I dunno, TWLITB. Some people just are. So you like Jennifer Aniston?"
"No,no, nothing like that, I'm just saying she's hot. For her age...like in bikinis and stuff. How come?"
"TWLITB, if I knew......????"
"Oh, yeah, right. Well, she's never had kids right?"
"Yeah, or maybe she's an alien"
"Right. I never thought of that."
"Well, that's why I'm here for you, TWLITB"
"Yeah, right. How old is Angelina? Is she your age, too?"
World. Something Freudian this way comes.
Chicken out
How are things? How is your family?
Me? I'm good, thanks.
The other day, Teenager-Who-Lives-In-The-Basement and I were grocery shopping.
Naturally, we picked the longest checkout line because that is just what we do. It is a family tradition. A magazine caught TWLITB's eye.
"Mom", he said, "How old is Jennifer Aniston?"
"Well", I said, "As it so happens, she is the same age as me."
"What?"
"Yeah, she's my age."
"But Mom", said TWLITB, "How come she is so hot?"
"Dunno"
"She's really...like....hot....like in movies and everything...in bikinis...she's your age???"
"Yeah, she is", I agree.
"But...how?"
"I dunno, TWLITB. Some people just are. So you like Jennifer Aniston?"
"No,no, nothing like that, I'm just saying she's hot. For her age...like in bikinis and stuff. How come?"
"TWLITB, if I knew......????"
"Oh, yeah, right. Well, she's never had kids right?"
"Yeah, or maybe she's an alien"
"Right. I never thought of that."
"Well, that's why I'm here for you, TWLITB"
"Yeah, right. How old is Angelina? Is she your age, too?"
World. Something Freudian this way comes.
Chicken out
Ha ha ha ha...this reminds me of the time my friends and I went to a Rick Springfield concert and one of my friends mom's wanted to go as well because she had a huge "mom crush" on Rick and mentioned that she was the same age as the Rickster.
ReplyDeleteThe bloom really came off his rose at that moment.
Good post, Chicken.
CB
I hope the bloom comes off Jennifer, too, CB. I really don't need TWLITB going all Ashton Kutcher on me.
ReplyDeleteIf you tell me I'm as hot as Jennifer Anniston, I will pay you in cash and brownies, even though we both know you would be lying. -GG
ReplyDeleteYou look better than her. No charge!
ReplyDeletehaha. way to go mom. I'll have to remember to use those excuses.
ReplyDeleteNow, even I think Angelina is hot, and I don't swing that way.
I had a kid freak out when I told her how old Jonny Depp was. When she asked how he could look so amazing I pulled the Alien card too. It just makes more sense.
ReplyDeleteEither that or he's airbrushed (slang for Computer Editing).
I hope I can look as good as either Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie when I get to be around their age. False hope though it may be, I'm going to try dammit!
There are so many things going on in that conversation. Kids always know how to put you in your place. I remember being in an elevator with my little sister (14 years younger) like 7 years ago and she was staring at me funny. I pestered her to tell me what she was thinking, and much to my regret, she finally did - she was thinking that I looked old.
ReplyDeleteI've seen pics of you - you're a super hotty. Don't tell TWLITB - that would be creepy.
Ashes-hopeful thinking can lead to action-you are on the right path!!
ReplyDeleteLucky-I know, right? I don't think he meant to put me in my place, though. I think he was in shock. I would be too if I overthought it too much. Thank you, though. And I've seen that topless photo of you up there, and I have to say, you look verra young.
My children are the wind beneath my wings, too.
ReplyDeleteI get reminded daily that I'm an old lady.
They keep us grounded...on the days I think I'm Angelina (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
Hi Empress-Children are very grounding to be sure. As a side note, I just discovered that JA is not the same age as me. She is 4 years younger. That explains the hotness factor. Yeah. But it doesn't explain Angelina. Nothing really does, though. You will never be old!!
ReplyDeleteDear Chicken,
ReplyDeleteJennifer Aniston is most definitely an alien. She'll get her comeuppance by giving birth to a freakin' huge alien baby and then she'll look like us. Wait...
Also? Going way back into my blog, I stumbled upon a comment of yours from A MILLION YEARS AGO. So thank you for hanging with me for so long.
xo
Hi, Chicken.
ReplyDeleteI'm sort of back.... Trying to keep it up, we'll see how long it lasts. Meanwhile, I am still following you!
mwah.
LP
Chicken, my niece just about had a nervous breakdown when she found out Madonna and I were the same age. Good times.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great posting I have read. I like your article.
ReplyDeleteJen Is MINE!...Hands off you pervs!!!
ReplyDelete...er...I'll leave now.....
Wait until you introduce your "Primed for Cougar Fresh Meat" to the fact that Christie Brinkley was born in 1954! My 9 year old loves to remind me that I am a "middle-aged woman" every single chance he's got. I hate truth seekers when the truth they are seeking is about me. blah.
ReplyDeleteHi, Chicken.
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by to say hello. Happy Easter. Hope all is well in your world.
Punk
i've decided to start telling people i'm 10 years older than i am, so they can be like "you look awesome for your age."
ReplyDelete"The Chicken's Consigliere" has been included in this weeks A Sunday Drive. I hope this helps to attract even more new visitors here.
ReplyDeletehttp://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2012/04/sunday-drive_22.html