Sunday, February 23, 2014

Time Thief

So wait a second.  You're telling me that if I swim out to the middle of the pond and then dive under the water, I'll see a rock formation.

Yes.

And if I swim down to the rock formation and touch one of the stones and then swim back up to the surface, I'll be in another dimension.

Yes.

You're full of shit.

What does that mean?

What do you mean, "What does that mean?"?  It means you're full of shit. You're a liar.

I'm not.  It's true.

How do you know?

Because I did it.

When?

This morning.  Just before I met you.

So shouldn't you be somewhere else?

I am somewhere else.  I'm here.

No shit, Sherlock.  So you're saying you're not from here?

No.  You've been calling me "fucking weird" all day.  Why do you think that is?

You are fucking weird.  And you're full of shit.

I'm not.

Ok, where are you from?  Mars?

No, I'm not an alien.  I just arrived from a different time zone.  2218.

So you expect me to believe that this pond still exists two hunnert and forty somethin' years from now?  And that you went swimming and ended up here?

No.  There wasn't a pond.  Just the rocks.  When I went into the rocks, I became dizzy and fainted.  When I came to, I was in water. Then I stumbled into your camp and you told me it was 1972.

You're shittin' me.

I'm not.  If you don't believe me, try it.  

I'm not tryin' it.

Why not?  What have you got to lose?  Do you want to go back to jail?

No, I don't want to go back to jail, but I sure as shit don't want to go to 2218 either.  Not that I would because you're full of shit, but even if you weren't, I wouldn't want to go.

Chicken.

I'm not.

Yes you are.  You're afraid

Listen, asshole, I'm about to beat you into next week and I won't need any pond stones to do it, so shut your trap.

Come on.  Try it.  I'll go with you.

I'm not go.....did you hear that?

The barking?  Yes.  I heard it.

Shit, they're using the dogs.  Shit shit shit.

You like this word, "shit".

It's just a fucking word.  Jesus, you're so fucking weird.  Let's go.

Where are we going?

Swimming.


25 comments:

  1. Delightful! I love time travel, even at this steady pace forward. Nicely done.

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    1. This confirms my suspicions that your time travel might be less sedate? Where do you go and, more importantly, how do you get back? Or have you gone back yet?

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  2. What a fun read. I like the word shit as well and have no desire to be in 2218. Even if I didn't look it, I would hate to admit my age being over 200. OR... worse yet, what if I got to 2218 and I looked like I was in my 200's! Shit, shit, shit.

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    1. Cheryl, I "may" have written this whole post only because I had an overwhelming desire to swear.

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  3. This made me chuckle- I can so see myself believing this when I was a kid. Gullible was my name. Great story-

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    1. Hi Shelly, thank you. Unofficial poll: If this was true and you knew where this pond was, would you take the plunge?

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  4. I love the idea of time travel. Great story, Chickie!

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    1. Hi Jenny_o. Me too. It's all that Diana Gabaldon reading I did back in the day. The Time Traveler's Wife was really fun, too. And then, traveling to the WAAAAY waay back, now, there was Omni magazine. I loved Omni.

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  5. Damn, you are a helluva lotta fun to read, always.

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  6. Some characters swear. Some don't. I enjoy the tension when they come together.

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  7. I remember being there yesterday, and I am here today, but I am not sure which is which tomorrow!
    Or if time is at all involved.

    I have a pond but have never gone down very deep into the middle -- too many catfish.

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    1. The only thing I know for sure is that the day after yesterday is the day before tomorrow. I think that's right. I'm not fond of ponds, myself. Those mucky bottoms.

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  8. I love this! So inventive and a great sense of urgency in the short quips of dialogue.

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  9. So, where do I buy the book? Excellent, engaging.

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    1. Thanks Linda-just playing:-) Congrats on YOUR story getting published-that is great news!!

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. I am in awe of your imagination! Keep up the good work, I love it!

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