Thursday, March 25, 2010

Chicken, Sam and the Ghost...

Hi World,

I did not think I had a story for you today but then, like a miracle, I remembered that my house is haunted.  If you recall, I was going to tell the electrician all about it in a recent post.

My two oldest children and Teenager Who Lives in the Basement have always sworn to this. Even though I can't vouch for their experiences, I can tell you about the one experience I had about a year after moving in.  It was the middle of the day in the middle of summer and I was home alone except for our dog, Sam.  We were dozing lightly in the living room. 

When suddenly...

BigB came home.  I heard the door off the kitchen open, I heard him put down his keys, and I waited with my eyes still closed for him to come find us.  But he didn't.  Then I listened for him.  I couldn't hear him.  I opened my eyes and looked towards the kitchen, which I could see from where I was stationed.  I looked at Sam, who was also fully awake and looking at the kitchen, with her head cocked to one side.  Sam looked at me.  We looked at each other and said, "Rot-Ro". 

Then Sam said, "You go", and I said, "No, you go".  Sam said, "Why do I have to go?", and I said, "Are you kidding me, Sam?  I'm a Chicken.  You're a dog.  If you need an egg, you ask me.  If I need some muscle I ask you. That's the way it works!".

It took a minute or so to get that settled and still, no further sound from the kitchen.  Sam said, "Whatever Chicken", and ambled off to the kitchen while I cowered behind peeking from over the top of my quilt.  In the kitchen, she sat on her haunches, cocked her head again, and stared towards the kitchen door area, which I should have mentioned, is not visible from the living room.  She stayed like that for 10 seconds or so, came back, shrugged her shoulders, which is not easy for a dog because the shoulders are attached to the leg bones, in their case, and laid back down.  I said, "Well????".  Sam said, "Well, what?  There's no one there, Chicken. It was our imagination." 

"Oh.  Our COLLECTIVE imagination, Sam?"

"Exactly.  Group Think"

It shouldn't come as a surprise that my dog would be a smartass.

And then we went back to sleep and later when BigB came home I asked him why he had been home in the middle of the day, and he said....wait for it.....he hadn't been home in the middle of the day.

Sam died shortly after the ghost incident. Fast forward.  It is Christmas 2009 and BigB, littleb, and I, well mostly BigB, are struggling with the Christmas tree lights.  littleb is intent on using the camera and I am drinking wine and content to let him realize his intentions.  (Ha.  That was fun).  Anyway, he snaps the following photo:


OMG, What the hell is that????
Just kidding. That's our ceiling.

But this one is a little harder to explain:


OMG What the Heellllll is that.
Yes, that's what I said.
That is a gnarled pile of Christmas lights.  They were lying on the floor.
Somehow, in littleb's picture, they ended up on the ceiling. 
If anyone can explain this to me (in words I understand), please, enlighten me. 
Because.  I was thinking, "Damn it Sam, that is NOT funny".

And now off to bed with you, wee rascals.  I promise there is nothing under the bed.  Except maybe for Sam. 

Chicken

(And by the way the Chicken Crossing the Road features some verra fine dancing tonight)

22 comments:

  1. Hi, Chicken. Lindsay at Dinosaurs! And Other Unemployment Adventures gave me a Beautiful Blogger Award, and I'm passing it on to you - congratulations! Check out my blog for the rules.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow-Lucky Punk-that is my first award. I am so excited and cannot wait to post the brag to all on FB! Thanks so much. I will be there soon to see what's up with that! Have a great night and congrats on your award, too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey chicken. firstly congratulations on your award. Well deserved.

    Secondly, that photo is like totally freaking me out...is that for real? Lights floating around the room...ugh ...ghosties.

    Thanks for scaring the crap outta me . I wont sleep tonight knowing you have a ghost in a location completely unknown to me , approximately 10,000 miles away from my place.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my chicken, ghosts! Truth be told, I HAVE felt the odd paranormal presence in your house--of course it may have been the wine--but let's not take chances. Call Sarah Jessica Love Hewitt Parker Posey Jones immediately! (The Ghost Whisperer from CBS).

    And, I will ask Big J if you can count the ghost as a deduction. Also, not his department, but I will also inquire if you should acknowledge this ahma (it's a real word--look it up on Wikipedia if you don't believe me!) on your 2010 Census.

    May the force be with you.

    CB

    ReplyDelete
  5. Where's the award? Post it!

    As for the picture - say what huh?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mrs. P-thanks. The picture is for real and the story is, too. Luckily, our ghostie is benign. He just comes in and melts through a wall or something.

    CB-I love ghost whisperer for real, yo! Any advice Big J can give on see through/invisible dependents is appreciated. If I can get the
    tax deduction, I'm more than happy to include him on the census

    SS-I will post it tonight, I just want to do my post tonight at the same time. I know. The picture is so weird. I'm sure there is a logical explanation but it is way more fun blaming the ghost. Or possibly my son is some kind of photographic prodigy....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Big J says "no go on the poltergeist dependency"...unless you and BigB want to be fitted for an orange jumpsuit. I'm guessing the penalty is less for defrauding the census, but I wouldn't chance it.

    CB

    ReplyDelete
  8. More importantly, what's the tannish smudge around the tree lights? Is it the ghost of Christmas Present? (As an aside, if it's the ghost of Christmas Present, I have to wonder why a present is also a ghost. Kind of like saying, that present is dead to me now.) Any whooo, it's like you're trying to smudge out SOMEONE's face, but there is no one there, right? Or MAYBE it IS the ghost of Christmas Present.

    [crickets?]

    Sorry about Sam. He seemed cool.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is so creepy! At first I was like "I will find an explanation for those lights, damnit!" But now upon closer examination I am creeped out beyond all belief. There's even a SHADOW of the lights on your CEILING in the picture.

    There is no godly explanation for that.

    Congrats on your bloggy award!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. CB: Orange is my color, actually, and those jumpsuits hide a lot of sin, but I get cranky when forced to use public toilets, so I guess we'll have to rely on real kids.

    Fragrant Liar: Thanks for reading. The original title of this post was "The Ghost of Christmas Past Lives with Chicken", so I see we think alike except that I hardly am ever focused on the present. Unless it's wrapped or comes in an envelope anyway. You know, I did notice the blur. I wrote that off as possibly just the result of littleb swooping the camera around while he was taking the photograph.

    Rainey: Thank you! I need to get hopping on the new post, I guess. I never noticed the shadows before-that is an excellent point!!

    Everyone-if you know any photographers or ghostbusters, maybe you could show them the photo and see if they have an explanation. I like the mystery but I'm also curious.

    ReplyDelete
  11. And Fragrant Liar-thank you. Sam was pretty cool. She's missed. Except when I smell wet dog and suspect she's hanging around somewhere nearby:-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. What the hell?? That is serious, making my heart race, scary!!! I can't even look at the picture that's freaking me out so bad. Not to be a jerk, but did you ever read The Amityville Horror? The movie was stupid, but the book? SCARE. THE. PANTS. OFF. OF. YOU. You probably shouldn't read it, if that sort of ghost punking is happening in your house. I am shaking in my boots now!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Looks like a ghost to me! I totally believe in all that haunted stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow! I am so gratified that no one is making fun of me. At least...are you? No, I don't think so. Joann-the picture is weird, no doubt, and I totally don't get it. There are two, actually, but they look the same. The only logical explanation I can come up with is that littleb was waving the camera around wildly in a photographic frenzy, and it is some kind of double exposure. That kind of doesn't explain the shadow on the ceiling, though, that Rainey pointed out. I did read Amityville horror and yes, my pants disappeared and not in a good way! But the house is pretty mellow. Except for the odd "I hear someone walking around but there is no one here" episode, and rather consistent electrical issues, we haven't had real problems. LSLW-yes, I believe in it, too. As GG once said to me, "it is pretty damn arrogant to believe that in all the universe, we are the only ones occupying space".

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey LSLW-congrats on your BB award. You rock. You'll have dozens before too long.

    ReplyDelete
  16. And Rainey, too, and Joann. You all rock.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thanks for linking up! I'm glad I came across your blog, this is too funny. Except for the lights on the ceiling thing. That kinda freaked me out. Could you come stay with me til my hubby gets home??

    ReplyDelete
  18. Red: I'm already there. I've been watching you for like, 10 minutes. Check out your most recent post:-) Thanks. I have wine. Want some? Makes the ghosties kinda funny.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Freaky and cool! We have a ghost. It is my grandpa and I did see him on Dec 23 and I have never been so happy and scared and freakishly cold in all of my life.

    Of course I blogged about it!

    Weird stuff happens around here all of the time and when it starts to freak out my husband I simply say out loud, "Would you please leave you are scaring my family" and then nothing happens for about 3 months!!

    I am here from Red's link-up and I truly enjoyed your post. Following you now :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi there GND-thanks for reading and commenting. I'm on my way over to your blog to read your ghost blog! Thank you for following.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Great blog! And loved the post. I can relate! My kids say our house is haunted. They've seen a man in a hat walking down the hallway. Creepy!
    But I'm with you...cluck, cluck, cluck...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thanks Rae. They say kids are more sensitive and maybe they are just less fearful. We just hear things, we've never seen anything. I think that would probably freak me right out particularly if it was someone I don't know!

    ReplyDelete

Say something. You know you want to.