Where the hell have you been???
Just kidding. I would explain my absence but it is an old story with no plot, no scary music, and no point (but plenty of excuses). So I won't bore you.
I have some housekeeping to catch up with. Thank you Dee at Redheaded Step Child for this nice award:
All you people out there that thought Chicken was not very sweet, HAH, so there. Thank you, Dee, for seeing the sweet side of me.
I have to post something about me you don't know.
When I was in second grade my favorite outfit was a purple knit pantsuit with a fake belt knitted into the middle. I looked like a little elf in it except an elf that wore purple knit not green cotton, which is probably what Santa's elves wear, don't you think? I'd show you a picture but I am not good about saving pictures and scanning them. Also, if I did that, it might lead to future embarrassing school pictures being scanned and posted because I have a semi addictive personality. You are just going to have to take my word for it when I warn that you do not want to see my sixth grade class picture with my new shag haircut, greasy hair, and stunning Mexican-inspired bric-brac tomato red dress. From there it is just a short leap to Chicken in her band costume which included a furry hat much like the Queen's guards wear. Again. Stunning.
Next, I have to give it away. I'm giving it to Girl Next Door, Life as Lindsey, Musical Musings/Stolen Sentiments, Ms. Morgan and Lucky Punk because they are all sweet, sweet, sweet and fabulous.
Just like me. Shutup. You know I am.
Next, I want to thank Amanda at Brilliant Sulk and Ravenscroft. I entered her story-telling contest to win some bee-yoot-i-ful wine glasses and I won, I won. Is this a good day or what? If you want to read my story and also read Amanda's sharp, witty and funny blog, follow her link and go to the comments section of this post. For those of you familiar with Sam the dog, she makes a reappearance in the story.
Here's a little bit of alphabet catch up.
"N" is for narcissist. I often joke about being a narcissist. The other day I spent a self indulgent half hour wandering around Borders and I came across this book on the bargain rack for $3.99 called, "Will I Ever Be Good Enough, Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers", and I bought it as a joke for my daughter. But then I thought, better read it first because, you know, why give her any future ammunition.
MISTAKE. I'm very conflicted now. Am I the daughter of a narcissist or a narcissistic mother? I can't decide. I only know that this book is probably about me, just like that song, somehow.
"O" is for Ollie. Don't you love that name? If I ever have a cat, or maybe a cute little hamster, I'm naming him Ollie.
"P" is for Pirahna and that reminds me of Martin Strel , who swam the Amazon River (not to mention a bunch of other rivers) in order to bring attention to the importance of clean water and rainforests. Y'all, the Amazon is like 2300 miles or something like that. And it is filled with these:
Just kidding about that last one. She lives at my house.
I hear Martin drinks a lot of wine. So does Chicken. That is where the similarities end. He uses his special brand of crazy to draw attention to world issues. Chicken uses hers to amuse herself. Big difference. Martin, We here at Chicken Central salute you. This bud is for you. In Martin's honor I have decided to start my very own award. I am calling it the Crazy as Martin Strel award. For all you crazy bloggers out there. Coming soon.
"Q" is for Queen. Who is your favorite Queen and why? Mine is Elton John. He wrote that lovely Candle in the Wind song for Marilyn Monroe and then when Princess Di died, I remember thinking, oh, he will probably write a song for her now and he totally did. He must have been short of time though, because didn't he just change the words to Marilyn's song? I wonder how PD would have felt about that. She was probably fine with it. She was probably a narcissist's daughter rather than a narcissist mum, after all. Then again, she didn't have any daughters so how would we really know?
I know, you are all like what the hell is she talking about? You'll just have to go to Borders and buy the book for $3.99. It's a total bargain, I promise.
I was serious about the Queen question. Let me know. K?
I forgot one final item on my list. Elly Lou, from BugginWord, who I thought was my cousin leaving a comment until I saw her on another blog and realized she had a blog and my cousin doesn't and so I read it, well, long story, but anyway great blog AND when she commented, apparently alerted to my peanut envy, she left me this link. Don't open it at work. But it is so funny. Peanut envy is gone now:-) http://nortygordytherudeone.blogspot.com/2008/07/willy-wigs.html
(I don't have time to spell check because I'm getting the glaring "get off the computer" eyeballs from someone who may or may not be but probably is BigB. You're going to have to give me a pass on spelling tonight)