Tuesday, April 13, 2010

K is for Canape...

Sort of....

Hi World,

You'll be happy to know I'm over my penis envy for the time being. Every once in awhile it rears its ugly head, and I just have to talk about it, ju know? 

Go ahead, laugh.  You know you want to. 

And now we're moving, we're moving, we're walking....

So you know I'm on vacation right now and I have had some time on my hands.  I've been enjoying myself immensely.  In addition to planting myself on the couch to watch the whole first season of True Blood and sometimes drinking beer in the middle of the day, I've also gotten in the habit of stopping by the market after dropping littleb at pre-school. 

I've always wanted to be that French girl.  You know.  The one with the striped nautical shirt with the bateau neckline and the white pedal pushers?  The one on the bike?  The bike with the basket on the front?  The basket that contains a loaf of French bread and a bouquet of fresh flowers?  Except I can never be that French girl because, Monsieur, Madames, pardonnez, mais oui, my accent sucks.  AND I don't own a bike AND bateau necklines and horizontal stripes are not a good look on me. But, just for these two weeks, I thought to myself, I can be a modified French girl and wear my stretchy blue yoga pants to the Whole Foods and buy good things to eat. 

One day last week, I bought a Bosc Pear, a small loaf of french bread, and a nice blue cheese recommended by the cheese person to go with the pear.  For two days, I ate that for lunch.  It was great.  The memory of that meal must have left a deep imprint because I woke up this morning and had an epiphany. 

I know.  Epiphany almost sounds like penis envy, doesn't it?  But we are not talking about that today, so. Focus.

Anyway, I had an epiphany, based on the pear/cheese/bread meal, and this is what it was:

CHICKEN'S 3AM EPIPHANY:  If you have cheese, bread and fruit, you have all the makings for beautiful canapes right at your fingertips.  Just in case the President or First Lady should drop by. Or the Queen or the Prime Minister or Prince or Lady Gaga.  (If it is Prince, he's not going to eat your beautiful Canapes though, so don't even bother.  I'm sure his bodyguard will supply his meals.  His bodyguard probably is his meal. I wish he would just eat Lady Gaga.)

To prove my theory, I went back to Whole Foods this morning and purchased the following fruits:

Bosc Pear
Green Apple

A small wedge of each of the following cheeses:

St. Andre (a triple cream brie)
St Agur (a french blue)
Australian Cheddar
Humboldt Fog (a California artisanal goat cheese)

And the following "bread" bases:

Pizza dough
French bread
Phyllo dough

I started with the pizza dough.  I rolled and cut out some very small rounds and sprinkled them with various toppings.  On the first, I used cinammon and sugar.  On the others I tried some herbs de provence, sea salt, and garlic salt.  I fried them in a bit of olive oil.  I spread some of the brie in the middle of the cinnamon/sugar piece and pinned it together, like a mini cannoli, with a raspberry on top.  The others had cooled too quickly to follow the same idea, so I topped them with the other cheeses and fruits.  My favorite combination was the herbs de provence round, split in half, filled with the humboldt fog, and topped with a strawberry. This is what the pizza dough canapes looked like:

If I did these again, I would either make the rounds a bit smaller to provide just a mouthful, or shape them quickly into the cannoli right after frying.

Next I worked with the French bread.  My favorite was a tiny grilled cheddar and apple sandwich.  I also did an inside out canape, which was fun and tasty, by hollowing a strawberry and  filling it with french bread and brie.  It was great as a finger food  Here are the french bread photos:  

Finally, I worked a little with the phyllo dough.  If you use these, you probably just want to buy the premade phyllo cups.  The result is not worth the extra work of making your own.  The blue cheese and pear combo was my favorite in this series. 

And there you have today's great adventure.  Now I need to go clean it up because my entire kitchen pretty much looks like this:

By the way, I was wearing the loincloth when I made these.  Just kidding. 

One more thing before you race off to the next blog.  Yes, I see you Ms. Bloggy Ho Twitchy Finger. 

I know I am forever telling you guys about my rockstar fantasy, but last night we realized  it runs through the bloodlines:

He just  may turn out to be my greatest hope of ever meeting Bruce.  He's getting a set of drums for his birthday.  Not only does he have raw talent, he's got a great stage look. 

Take care,

Chicken out


  1. That was like food porn. How I miss bread and fresh fruits and cheeses. I thoroughly enjoyed the photos, and even looked twice, yet somehow I feel slightly dirty and in need of a shower. And I feel like I should apologize for violating you, but I'm not sure why.

  2. Dirty, dirty Ninja:-) I could give up the fruit, but I pretty much live on cheese and crackers.

  3. An impudent little offering, with sassy topnotes and a lingering finish. Overall, an amuse bouche that leaves me hungry for more. Where do I sign up for the canape of the month club?

  4. So sorry, GG. It was a canape of the year club and this year is over....but I taught you to fish little one...just get you some bread, cheese and fruit. Or in your case, some veggies from your garden...

  5. Well, thanks to the raging biodiversity in my fridge, I've got the "blue" cheese covered - except in my case it began life as an unassuming
    fresh mozzerella and has evolved into something much more funky, furry and colorful. I should throw it out, but I'm waiting to see if it's going to sprout googly muppet eyes and say "ME WANT COOKIE."

  6. Great photos...such wonderful creations!

  7. Have you read the French Skinny Experiment? It's a blog that basically is touting the idea that you can eat yourself thin on brie and pastry.

    I don't know if I buy it, but what a romantic (and delicious!) idea.

  8. YUM!!! Would have never thought of these combos!

  9. Thanks Khelasoe-I want a shamrock plant, by the way. I didn't even know you could buy those!

    Rainey-It doesn't work. I'm proof. Unless it is the wine that's doing me in.

    Thanks BB-some of them were good but mostly it is just fun to get messy in the kitchen sometimes:-)

  10. but I'm waiting to see if it's going to sprout googly muppet eyes and say "ME WANT COOKIE."..Thanks GG I just literally pissed myself laughing.

    I bet the Aussie cheese was the bestest Chicken. What ever overcame you that you needed to get creative with food? You're going to give the rest of us a bad name with all this cooking and susie homemaker shit. Stop it .

    I had to hide this post from Mr. P -I dont want him getting ideas about stuffed freaking raspberries...sheesh.

  11. Oh, Mrs. P, you are one to talk, my Dear. Just payin' you back for torturing my taste buds from time to time. The Aussie cheese was total homage to you. I saw it and I had to have it. And it was good.

    GG, that was the funniest thing I've read in awhile, although hyperboleandahalf's post about the coping mechanisms she's developed to deal with bad grammar had me dying last night, also, and I completely forgot to come back to comment and give you due credit. I salute you.

  12. Chicken, those look awesome!!! Now that I am living in a culinary wasteland, I really miss Whole Foods...Cheese Whiz and Rotel melted together passes for haute cusine down here.


  13. Thanks CB. Now I have all this leftover cheese and for the first time in my life? I don't want it. Seriously? You don't have a Whole Foods there? Whole Foods is definitely one of my guilty pleasures. I could spend all day there.

  14. I want to come and po-in to your house, but don't come to mine. I have some saltines and cheese wrapped singles!

    At first I thought the epiphany was going to be that eating all of those things gave you stomach pains - I am glad it wasn't.

    I went to France once and after dinner one night they brought out a cheese cart. These cheese were not individually wrapped. Some were good, and some were 30 days old with the mold cut off. I was not brave and did not try those cheeses :-(

  15. GND- It's funny, my grandparents used to always have a big chunk of cheese out on the counter and they'd just leave it there, covered by a glass dome, and it was always the best tasting cheese. But the idea of leaving cheese out just grosses me out-I can't do it. I don't think I would have eaten the 30 day old moldy cheeses either.

  16. I never had penis envy until I saw this (http://nortygordytherudeone.blogspot.com/2008/07/willy-wigs.html). Now I want one so I can dress it up and have tea parties.

  17. Elly Lou-OMG that is hilarious!! I'm posting that one for the general public. Thanks for thinking of me. I think my penis envy might have just gone away, though. I can't take a willy in a wig seriously.

  18. Those were gorgeous! They made me hungry and also maybe a little pissy that I live in the middle of godforsakennowhere and have no access to Whole Foods or any of those cheeses.

  19. Martha Stewart ain't got nothing on the chicken when under the thrall of an epiphany!! What's next? Making animals out of guest towels?


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