Monday, September 16, 2013

Big Dreams

I've shopped at the same grocery store almost every week for the past 15 years.  Some of the people who work there have been around at least that long.

Two who have been there at least as long as I've shopped there are a mother and son duo. I've become fond of them.  We are used to one another, and I like talking to them.  Neither one has a filter, which makes for some interesting conversation, here and there.

Today, as I bagged my own groceries, in my own reusable bags, the Mom of my favorite duo sidled up, and begian to assist.   "Do you mind if I put this stuff in plastic?"  she asked, "Because that way it won't get squished."  I was pretty sure she didn't want to be bothered with the awkward reusable bags.

"That's okay", I said, "You can put it in the reusable bags.  They make unloading the car easier when I get home."

"Okay, yeah, this will keep it all from getting squished.",  she said, continuing to pile things into plastic bags.

I grabbed my reusable bags, and began piling groceries into them, in a race to see how many plastic bags I could limit her to.

"You know, I was thinking", she said, "about an idea I had for if I ever won the millions of bucks, or the lotto bucks,or whatever they call them.  I was thinking about what I'd do."

Well.  Now we were talking.  I was intrigued.  "What would you do?", I asked.

"It's just an idea, but I was thinking, wouldn't it be fun to run down the row of stuff that's all glass and knock it off the shelf.  Just knock everything off, so it all smashes on the floor."

"But why?", I asked.  "They say living well is the best revenge.  Why would you care about your old job once you win all that money?"

"Because it would be funny.  Don't you think?  Just watching all that glass smash all over the floor?"

"Oh, I get it.", I say, "You would smash it all, just for the pleasure of making it smash,  and then pay for it all and for someone else to clean it?  Someone who isn't you?"

"No.  Why would I do that when I've got all that money?  I'd move, maybe to Maine, and change my phone number."

"Well", interjected the cashier, while I was still processing Mom's response, "Do you know what I'd do?"

"No, what would you do?" both the Mom and I asked at the same time.

"I'd wait until three weeks before Thanksgiving and then give my two-week notice!"

"Oh, that's nice", I said, "That you would give a two-week notice.  Not a lot of people are that conscientious."

"Well", said the cashier, "Maybe I'd wait until the Superbowl, and not give any notice at all."

"Why the hell would you keep working here when you have all  that money?"  demanded  Mom.

"Maybe I'd go back to school", he said.  "Learn about something I really want to do."

"I'd  just go do whatever I wanted."   retorted Mom.

On the way out, I passed Shawn, the son half of the dynamic duo.  I wish that I had thought to ask him what he would do first if he won the lottery.  I have heard that he rides his bike to and from work each day, even in snow storms. I drive off hoping Shawn and his mom do win the lottery, even if it does mean a temporary shortage of pickles after the celebratory glass smashing.

What would you do if you won the "millions o'bucks, lotto or whatever"?

Chicken out
Any last words pickles?


  1. The mind reels. About the conversations, I mean.

    Not about the winning loads of money. I expect that to happen any day now. Just as soon as I remember to buy a blasted ticket.

    1. Hi Jenny-I think there's a new song out about just this subject-"It takes all kinds a kinds". Really, they are good people, hard life. I remember to buy them once in awhile. I'm not as good about remembering to check them. There was a million dollar lottery in my town that went unclaimed a few years back and I am pretty sure it was mine.

    2. Oh the jars I could have smashed with a million bucks. I try not to think about it.

  2. And now we know why folks that win the Lottery are broke within a couple years. They are pickled.

    I cant win because I've never bought a ticket. I'll have to win by some other means.

    I did win a free year of Heating and air conditioner maintenance at the town festival one time. Didnt make me wanna break stuff tho.

    Odd pair, them two.

    1. SS-haha. Yes, and who can blame them? You've never ever bought a lottery ticket? You should win just for that. A tumbleweed should just blow a winning lottery ticket right into your hands. Although, I wouldn't turn my nose up at a year of free heating. That's a huge win up around my way.

  3. Loved that Jack Johnson comment on my blog.
    Interesting for the lottery win? I just want to give my wife the gift of early retirement. That would be cool.

    1. Hi DBS. I'm glad you liked it:-). And your wife is a lucky woman! We've talked about this a little at our house. Smashing glass didn't come up. We are just not that interesting. Retire, travel, leave a legacy, blah blah blah. I mean, if I could buy the ability to be a rock star I would, but I don't think you can purchase that, even in the Neiman Marcus Fantasy Christmas Catalog. Neiman Marcus, are you listening?

  4. Ha.. what an interesting conversation. My neighbours and I share lottery tickets each month. As soon as we win, I'll let you know what I'd do. ;)

    1. Hillary! I have a feeling it would involve pretty much exactly what you are doing now with fewer interruptions:-)

  5. Somehow, smashing glass has a nice ring to it *ahem* so to speak.

    1. Shelly-it kind of does:-) It's not me, but I love that someone thought of it.

  6. I'm not sure what I'd do if I won that much money, but it'd no doubt involve a very quick resignation and an early retirement.

    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous

    1. HI Kellie-but...I can tell you what I wouldn't be doing. I wouldn't be washing myself on a public bus:-) Which could also involve a quick resignation and an early retirement but under far less pleasant circumstances.

  7. Those people be STRANGE. :-)

    Me? If I won? I'd go to part-time work, because me without deadlines? LAZY!!


    1. Hi Pearl. Now, surely you have to admit, my people are no less strange than some of your people. And also, I encounter them less often. You are teaching me to recognize the gems when I find them. Thank you for that.

  8. People are deciding before they win.
    I guess winning would kick one into fifth gear, with a lot less things to worry about.
    Although one million doesn't get you as far as it used to.
    It would be so preferrable to hit a three hundred million powerball. And since we're human this would only cover worries about money. There needs to be wise planning so you don't repeat the common errors of past winners.
    You must be ready to render a soft,knowing,almost Mona Lisa smile; and don't tell anyone. If you help others do it anonimously or you'll get swarmed with requests.
    Now that you have money, be smart, grow as a person, don't go nuts and blow it all. Why rush? Now you have money.

  9. I wouldn't know how far a million might take me, Carlos, but I'd be willing to give it a test drive. I can always walk home or call my kids to come get me. I'm working on my Mona Lisa smile just in case I get the chance.


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