Friday, September 13, 2013

Fashion is a Two-Faced Bitch: The Original Post

Hi all-this was the original post, published in August 2011,  that inspired the Friday fashion series. I've procrastinated as long as I can and have to buckle down and do actual work tonight, so no new post is in the queue for this Friday.  I hope you like this one.  Happy Friday to you.  I'll be back. Like it or not. 

Hi World,

You look great!  Have you lost weight?

You may be wondering what fashion must haves you should be stocking up on for fall.  Well, I've taken some time to peruse the latest fashion mags, and have put together this short synopsis which I'm sure you will find clears things up a bit.

My dears, for fall, straight legs are in.  Unless you like flares, because they are also in.  And bootleg?  So hot right now.  Oooh, and don't forget to stock up on boyfriend jeans for weekend tailgate parties.

Wear your straight legs with cute ballerina flats.  Or heels.  Or sandals. Or boots:  Short boots, riding boots, cowboy boots, slouchy boots, thigh-high boots, motorcycle boots or cement boots.  Whatever.

Long skirts?  In!  Wear them pleated or pencil skirted.  But you know what is also in?  Metallic minis, yes! But an A-line skirt is flattering on everyone and remember, for fall the buzz word is menswear.

The silhouette for this year is fitted and classic.  Unless you prefer asymmetrical and boxy, because guess what?  That's so hot right now!  And fitted and slutty is always in style.  And the peter pan collar?  So In!

Colors are bold and jewel toned.  Unless they are pastel or neutral.  We forget.  Oh, speaking of which, don't forget to wear earthy tones, so in right now.  And, AND, sweet prints are IT this year.

Shoes:  We still like a nude heel, it so elongates the leg.  Also, don't forget to add a punch of color or two because strong jewel tones are in.  Kitten heels are still all the rage for fall.  Of course, a killer heel never hurts either-try a stacked heel peep toe.  But you know, take it down a notch this fall because flat pointy shoes are where it is at.  Oh, and get yourself a pair of moccasins for fall, extra fringe, please.

Handbags:  We like totes this year.  And clutches.  and backpacks.  And really tiny purses that only fit your lipstick and a $20 bill because this year it is all about minimalism.  But also it is about sustainability-the girl who has everything she needs definitely wins.  Who has a rose lipstick, a chapstick and a NYC Red lipstick?  You?  You win!  Oh, but you are carrying it all in a faded red 1990 LL Bean knapsack.  With your initials embroidered on the side.  Oh that is sad.  Wait a minute...that's not sad!  OMG that is so fresh.  So different.  LL Bean vintage, OMG!

Accessories:  Ladies, dainty is in.  Unless you like big, bold and ethnic because that is a classic that will never go out of style.  Diamonds and pearls are oh so timeless but so are leather cords and Native American accents.  Multiple bracelets recycled from used rubber tires?  Oh you go, Earth Child.  That's so fresh. But then again, we like our silver, gold and gems, am I right girls?  So pile them on anyway you can get them. Let your lights shine, girlies.  Oh, and that reminds me of the Irish.  Have I mentioned...

Sweaters:  Thick and chunky, friends.  Think Irish fisherman.  Over a long flowing chiffon skirt. Ethereal is supposed to be out, but when you pair it with a a trendy cable, presto, it is in again. So hot.  You know what is also nice? The boyfriend sweaater in a nice cashmere, yes, over a tailored white button down.  But really, forget about sweaters for a minute and get yourself a varsity jacket because that's so trendy this fall.  Outerwear this fall is classic and timeless but also youthful with a playful element.

Fabric:  Ummmm.  What do you like?  Because we like, like, everthing....we like tweed, silk, wool, cotton, polyester....really...we like everything.  What do you like?  Huh?  Huh?

Pair your fall look with bold makeup moves, like cat eyes, bright red lips, and a noticeable blush. But don't overdo it. Remember, demure is the key word when it comes to fall makeup. A nude lip, a barely there blush, and you are on your way. Don't forget your Bonne Bell Watermelon Lip Smacker for that sweet retro feel.

Our style icons this fall are Audrey Hepburn and Brigette Bardot.

And Farrah Fawcett.  And all three of the Kardashian sisters.

And Mia Farrow.

So let's recap, shall we?

The look for fall  is classic and feminine, bold and masculine, demure and over the top.  It's a mix of 20th century chic and 70's country sweetheart.  It's disco meets square dance with a pinch of dirty dancing just to spice things up.  It's chocolate milk in a martini glass. stirred, not shaken.  It is 20th century Ice Queen meets 1950's pin up girl.

Still confused?  You totally get it!  Yes, fashion is a two faced bitch, friends, so my advice is wear whatever the hell you want, just wear it like you mean it.  Somewhere out there, every Glamour don't is being paraded as a "do".

Except the exposed thong look.  I think that trend is well and truly over.  I know.  I'm sad too.

Happy shopping, World

Chicken out


  1. I dont think I have a style but I think you may be able to capture with your broad strokes of discription.

    Polo shirt with company logo, Blue jeans, white socks and hiking boots. All the same on weekends with a tee shirt with company logo substituted for the polo.

    Personally I think the whale tail went out the day before it came out.

    1. If it didn't, it should have! I agree, a go to "uniform" makes life easier. It does depend on the uniform, though. Yours sounds perfect.

  2. You have nailed the fashion industry. Nailed it good. I can't hope to keep up, so I wear whatever I like and I've worn it for thirty - no, forty - years. Thus, the "elderly" clothing comment I made a while back :) Maybe I exaggerate. Maybe.

    1. Jenny-I'm always surprised when I stop to think how old something is, even though I still think of it as new. That's what happens when you get older and times starts flying by faster. Old clothes develop a style and patina all their own. Sometimes the patina is gravy colored, you know, but that's okay. There's a heart warming story to go along with that gravy stain. Maybe.

  3. Brilliant Post Chicken!!!! And so true, but I think I still need a stylist. I just suck at dressing myself.

    1. I do too, GND. I'm a hot mess. And not in a good way.

  4. oh good grief, i could not have said any clearer myself. happy shopping, indeed! : )

  5. Katie!! I'm coming to visit you right now!!

  6. Delightful post! But the photo of the poor woman being attacked by her clothes disturbs me. I believe the thong is winning. I hope she was able to stand upright when the battle ended.

    1. Hi Geo, I'm really hoping that photo was staged, but it probably wasn't.


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