OH! Well! Look who finally showed up. If it isn't the World.
Do you know what time it is?
Where the hell have you been??
I spent hours. HOURS, do you hear me? I spent HOURS planning a beautiful post; HOURS shopping for just the right ingredients-the perfect analogy, the wryest wit, sarcasm with just the right amount of bite; HOURS constructing and layering each of those ingredients into a delicious reading experience just for you and what do you do? NOTHING, that's what. You didn't respond to my Tweet, you didn't click on my link, you didn't even check in just to see how I was doing on Valentine's Day.
And now my beautiful Post is RUINED. It's deflated and soggy. YES IT IS!!!
Don't even try to make me feel better. I'm too upset.
(Chicken reaches for her coat, flips her scarf dramatically around her neck
and heads for the door).
If you NEED me Loyal Readers, which I'm sure you WON'T, I'll be over at Alanis' house drinking Chardonnay. SHE really gets me. You coming with me Pearl Annabelle Lafleur?
Pearl just said "Damn Straight I am, Chicken, lemme grab my coat." Now that's Loyalty.
Smell you later world.
(off stage sound of door slamming. Dramatically.)