Thursday, May 6, 2010

Chicken Idling...

Hi World,

I have nothing of great importance to share with you.  Surprise.

Here's a couple of random thoughts if you are bored and feel like reading.  And you must be bored or why come would you be on a blog about Chickens, hmmm?  If you have anything to do though, you should go do it.  This post is totally not worth your precious time.

In this day and age, does it seem weird that there is no Miss America equivalent for men?   I think there are enough single guys out there looking for college scholarships and fame that finding contestants would not be a problem.  You could run it exactly like Miss America with all the same categories.

The reality show about them getting ready to compete is what I really want to see, though.  Are you listening Lucky Punk?  I'm gifting you.  If you use the idea can I get a front row seat for the back waxing? 

Know what else?  There is no masculine equivalent for Miss.  "Miss" is the appropriate honorific... (I had to look up that word.  I didn't just know that.  NOBODY freaking knows that.  Okay, some geek probably does.  Where was I?) Sorry. As I was saying, Miss is the appropriate honorific for an unmarried lady.  So you are Miss from the time you are a young girl until you get married, although you could also correctly use Ms. if you so choose.  For a male, however, the honorific has nothing to do with your marital status.  When you are young you are called "Master" (bator hee hee).  But then in your teen years you go right into Mr. 

That bugs me. It also leaves us without an appropriate name for the pageant.  Unless we call it MASTERbator America.  But that doesn't really flow and if the Donald is going to bankroll it he's going to want it to flow.

Speaking of Donald....never mind.  But you know he thinks that song is about him, right?

Joann, when I was leaving my Blackberry AA meeting tonight at Radio Shack, I passed these two guys with pocket protectors who were acting kind of suspicious and all, and I thought I heard your name mentioned, so I followed them.  (cue Pink Panther theme song).  You are right.  They are fucking with you.  But guess why?  They think you are hot.  Yup.  The internet geeks have a crush on the Mannix, and because they have the combined social skills of an 11-year-old they are getting your attention the only way they know how. 
Really, it's Bono I feel bad for.  You should see what they are doing to his fan page.  Not good.  Not good at all. 

I heard about this new hot club called The Cove but I can't get in.  Even though I totally know the owner.

Have you ever noticed that people who have English accents seem much smarter than Americans.  You could meet up with the dumbest English guy in the world and he would be all, "Cheerio old chap, two plus two equals ten, right then, fancy a pint?" and you would agree with him because he sounds smart.  Dinners, you should totally move to America.  Think of all the fun you could have and everyone would be hanging on your every word. 

So here we are at the end.  I hope you don't feel sorry you read the whole thing.  I tried to warn you.

Old Chap.  Fancy a pint?

Chicken out


  1. Random thoughts from CB

    I miss Dunkin Donuts.

    I miss Del's.

    I do not miss RI traffic.

    Betty White is hosting SNL.


    Check this out! LOL!

  3. roflmao You have outweirded me today. Thank you! I feel much better now.

  4. I am just going to keep reading this until I TRULY get it.

  5. CB-no Dunkin' in NC? Poor you. I was never a huge fan of the Del's but last weekend I discovered Cherry Del's and I've changed my tune. Sweet nectar of the Gods, that is what it is. Traffic sucks but Betty White does not. I've been watching season 2 of Trueblood which is available on demand now.

    Anonymous, who you are sending me boob videos, ay? Are you English? Have you been subjected to my massive chicken cleavage and thus offended?

    Red-I'm glad I could help.

    Betty-Try reading it in an English accent.
    Just kidding. If you were able to make sense of it, it would only prove you are hallucinating:-) I'll bet you knew what an honorific was, didn't you?

  6. ha Chicken said boobs. Must really be a slow day there chickie. hope the weekend brings some great acts of randome thoughts or randome acts of great thoughts. or maybe just some randome boobs. have fun every ONE.

  7. It is RANDOM anonymous, not to be the spelling police or anything. Maybe you are old English. They tend to add an extra e to everything. I meant to say Chicken Breasts, btw. Have a good weekend

  8. Ie like toe adde ee'se toe thee ende ofe alle thingse. dint you rite about spellin way back when? It aint nuthn no how scuuter.
    w'll be checin back witchu necks week. aaaiiit.
    peace out

  9. peece oute anomemouse

  10. I knew it Chicken!!!!! I've been watching for them and they really are messing with me. And they better stay away from my B man because his birthday is in 3 more days. That's right I know when his birthday is and I'll be sending him birthday wishes via the fan club I belong to. That's right, I said I'm a member of a fan club.

    And don't even get me started on the beauty pageants. I will vomit. And yes, we should have a masturbator pageant and have The Big Donald in charge of it, because I just want to hear him say masturbator.

    Oh, and Chicken, is there a reason you have your no reply comment on in your Google profile? Because, I always send you a reply when you comment on my blog and then I realize you're not getting my replies because you're no comment. If you change your profile in Google and add your email, you'd be shocked at all the nice little replies you get. That is, if you don't mind people having your email. It's too late for me, the Blogger Boys have found me.

  11. Hi Joann-yes the blogger boys did find you but they just want to 69 you, which is nice of them. Totally not happening is my guess, since that would imply cooperation on your part, but maybe once they realize it they'll sign up for our masturbator pageant. Best wishes to Bono on his birthday and I will change my account so that you (or Bono) can leave me sweet messages. Because I love those things....

  12. Chicken, you still have not taken off your no reply, so therefore I cannot answer the questions you leave on my blog through email. So, I'll answer them here. I have no link to songs. I probably should start doing that. I'm giving people suggestions of songs to download. I should talk to Apple and see if they'll give me a link for that AND some of the profits of the download, because, I don't know if you've heard, but they've become a very successful company and I'm sure they've got bundles of cash.

    I can start posting a link to the song on Youtube. I can't really post any music videos on my blog because Youtube will just yank them due to copyright infringement. They are mean like that.

    So, yes, that's the answer to your question. Don't forget to turn your no reply off. That is, if you want to.

  13. Hi Joann-okay I'm missing something because I thought I did. I went on your blog, I left a comment and I checked the box that said all comments by email or something like that. What am I missing here? I post youtube videos all the time-I link them to youtube on the chicken crossing the road picture. I've never really had a problem but I'm just directing people to the youtube, which I would think is a good thing, right? Ima feelin' stupid over here...

  14. My BIL is from Englad and he has a wonderful accent, but sadly he sounds like an uppity ass.

  15. hey TGNDGU,
    An uppity is ass is better than just an ass.

  16. Yeah, anyone can sound like an ass. I'm with TGNDGU, though, I'd rather sound like an ass than an uppity ass. Regular asses (asss?) have more fun.


Say something. You know you want to.