Chicken Idling...

Hi World,

I have nothing of great importance to share with you.  Surprise.

Here's a couple of random thoughts if you are bored and feel like reading.  And you must be bored or why come would you be on a blog about Chickens, hmmm?  If you have anything to do though, you should go do it.  This post is totally not worth your precious time.

In this day and age, does it seem weird that there is no Miss America equivalent for men?   I think there are enough single guys out there looking for college scholarships and fame that finding contestants would not be a problem.  You could run it exactly like Miss America with all the same categories.

The reality show about them getting ready to compete is what I really want to see, though.  Are you listening Lucky Punk?  I'm gifting you.  If you use the idea can I get a front row seat for the back waxing? 

Know what else?  There is no masculine equivalent for Miss.  "Miss" is the appropriate honorific... (I had to look up that word.  I didn't just know that.  NOBODY freaking knows that.  Okay, some geek probably does.  Where was I?) Sorry. As I was saying, Miss is the appropriate honorific for an unmarried lady.  So you are Miss from the time you are a young girl until you get married, although you could also correctly use Ms. if you so choose.  For a male, however, the honorific has nothing to do with your marital status.  When you are young you are called "Master" (bator hee hee).  But then in your teen years you go right into Mr. 

That bugs me. It also leaves us without an appropriate name for the pageant.  Unless we call it MASTERbator America.  But that doesn't really flow and if the Donald is going to bankroll it he's going to want it to flow.

Speaking of Donald....never mind.  But you know he thinks that song is about him, right?

Joann, when I was leaving my Blackberry AA meeting tonight at Radio Shack, I passed these two guys with pocket protectors who were acting kind of suspicious and all, and I thought I heard your name mentioned, so I followed them.  (cue Pink Panther theme song).  You are right.  They are fucking with you.  But guess why?  They think you are hot.  Yup.  The internet geeks have a crush on the Mannix, and because they have the combined social skills of an 11-year-old they are getting your attention the only way they know how. 
Really, it's Bono I feel bad for.  You should see what they are doing to his fan page.  Not good.  Not good at all. 

I heard about this new hot club called The Cove but I can't get in.  Even though I totally know the owner.

Have you ever noticed that people who have English accents seem much smarter than Americans.  You could meet up with the dumbest English guy in the world and he would be all, "Cheerio old chap, two plus two equals ten, right then, fancy a pint?" and you would agree with him because he sounds smart.  Dinners, you should totally move to America.  Think of all the fun you could have and everyone would be hanging on your every word. 

So here we are at the end.  I hope you don't feel sorry you read the whole thing.  I tried to warn you.

Old Chap.  Fancy a pint?

Chicken out